Everyone wants to ‘find love’. That’s literally impossible. Love isn’t found, it’s built. One does not simply trip over a tree root and fall into love. It’s abstractly inaccurate to conceptualise love in this way.
Rather, love is built by actions and grown over time. The act of the building and the growing is the love itself, thus without the action, it cannot exist. Love is not a still state. All life is in flux, a continuous movement, love must move with it or it cannot be sustained.
When one tries to conceptualise love in abstract terms that obey the laws of reality, it is a lot easier to understand. And yet, romanticism, the toxic culture that commercialises love, would deem it ‘found’ and ‘fallen’. This is profoundly inaccurate.
Everyone figures this out and different stages... some never do... but when I realised I was like... ‘fuck, the misrepresentation of love is everywhere and it’s deeply damaging’. In music, media and common language. Literally everywhere. Thus many go their
whole lives believing love is something you can fall in and out of. Or that you’re not in love because they’re not ‘the one’. There is no such thing. The work you do, for yourself is the self love. The work you do for your partner is the love. Love is work. Love cannot be anything other than work. Accept and embrace this.
The terminology of how we, as individuals and a society, conceptualise love must be changed if love is to be understood and subsequently created.